A Visit To Heaven

*logs In*

Wow.!!! This is our first group post and it feels so cool. ”Yeah..! Calm down” You’re just as anxious as I am to know who visited heaven and met the angel and what happened after as the topic implies. Just chill, relax and enjoy.

After a long time of ‘Setting P’ with this babe on twitter, she invited me to her house. “Damn I was gonna get laid”,*in Justin’s voice* ‘never say never”. The butterflies in my tummy were flying happily and horses were running up and down without any obstruction. I was so frigging happy.

I got to the junction of this babes house and called her to come meet me. Three minutes later, I saw her on the other side of the road; of course I could recognize her. Heck I view her avatars whenever she changes them and download ’em sometimes. ( ._.). Her boobs were just as big as her twitter avatars imply, but her face… oh no.! Pimple here and there such that I could even sight ’em from that distance. Yeah Photoshop always did that for her. i guessed, and am sure i was right. Photoshop is such a bitch, makes a pimple look like a dimple. *spits* I wasn’t going to fuck the dimples I see in her avatar, I was going for the boobs, so I cared less. :d .

So I was about to cross the road, just like that famous question- “Why did the chicken cross the road?” alas.!!! The fuck I was going to give to this babe provided an answer to the mysterious question.

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If the Chicken was Female, We’ll call her a CHICK and why would a Chick want to cross the road? Hmmmnnn yeah, that same thing going through your Mind. “She’s going to get fucked”. LOOL -___-.

Image Oya Let’s View It another Way.

If the Chicken was Male, we’ll call him a COCK. Dirty Mind, I Meant male Chicken :p. Why would a Cock want to cross the road? Yeah that same reason I wanted to cross the road. “To get laid” *sighs*

So I answered your question, yeah? One more thing, did the chicken really cross the road successfully, or was it crushed by a trailer/vehicle/okada? *Keep your fingers crossed*.

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As I was about to cross, I didn’t look out for cars or anything, my brain was on sort of a break. All I was thinking was how to get laid. So, I GOT HIT BY A VEHICLE.

I don’t know how that babe must have felt or what happened after then, all I know is as quick as lightning; I had undertaken a journey from there to heaven which took less than “a blink of an eye”.

Gbooom!!!, I landed in heaven, then I saw my buddy, Gabriel at the pearly gate, and seeing him, I strolled at a leisurely pace to the gate; you see, Gabriel and I have quite a history together, but that is a story for another day I don’t want to bore you with that now ;).

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 I approached Gabriel, and the following conversation ensued;

Me: Wassup, my nigga

Gabriel: Heyo!, homie

Me: How’s this job of yours going?

Gabriel: Quite well as you can see

Me: Stop being sarcastic with me dude, I know how you feel, but what can I say, you have quite a reputation for liking to fuck a particular hole at the back of a particular set of creations whom I happen to
resemble, am I right, GAYbriel?

Gabriel: *sigh* Dude, I thought we were past that already.

Me: Oh well, you were the one who pulled it up. So, how’s my “going in” through the pearly gate?

Gabriel: Walk in

Me: I’m going in *in fat joe’s voice*

Just like the vampires, if they’re not invited in, their legs can’t get an inch into the building. They’ll be stuck like hell, which was how it felt when I tried to respond to Gabriels “Walk in*

Gabriel: hold up dude, seems you’re not eligible for entrance into the gate

Me: WTF!!!!, LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL, stop playing, nigga, I ain’t no sinner.
Let me in, mayne

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Gabriel: Apparently, it seems there are a few “sins” which are listed here as committed by you

Me: Woah, You mean the most high was actually keeping tabs on me, WTF!!! *Rozays Grunt and Voice* Huh.! Amma Boss.!

Gabriel: Well, If you have nothing to say, I shall proceed to read them to you:
1) You dissed a chick on twitter

Me: WT!!!, Oh, you mean that boob-less chick, well, I apologized to her via DM later on.

Gabriel: 2) You acted Gay to a brother on twitter By Using The Wink ( 😉 ) and Kiss (:* ) Smiley To Reply Him Plus You Used The Tongue Out Smiley ( :p ) and “*rme*” too.

Me: *rme* Dude, you don’t want to be starting on me, know how many fucks I gave to you!, I mean, you can’t even count ’em anymore, *so puhlease*

Gabriel: 3) You raped so many follow buttons on twitter

Me: LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL, brah, that ain’t even a sin, I mean, those guys needed the follow-back, and by the way, you see, my follow button was raped more than I did.

Gabriel: 4) You downloaded lots of nudes and porn and ‘wanked’ to them wasting Future Generations in the bathroom.

Me: You know, I never had the chance to give a girl a fuck, so what am I supposed to do, rape a girl? Huh? a nigga’s got to satisfy his needs.

Gabriel: 5) I saw that picture of you on Face-book, that was so fucking naughty.

Me: GAYbriel! you just fucking cussed plus which of the pictures are you talking about? I have over 700 pictures on that dead site.

Gabriel: 6) You replied chats and tweets with “LOL” “LMAO” “LMFAO”, “ROTFL” while you had a straight face on.

Image  Me: But Gabriel Love a nigga has to make some people especially some girls feel like they’re funny. Its *Setting P 101* mayne
Gabriel: Boy! you’ve sure got your defenses in place, right?

Me: Well, what can I say? I came prepared, now, let me in…

Gabriel: Dude I’ll do you a huge favor, go back to earth, forget that fuck you were about to give and write a very boring blog about your experience here.

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So this post was written by three of us @IF3OLUWA @xxMz_Millzxx and @OlajideFlirts . Thank you for reading, your comments are highly appreciated and don’t forget to scroll down and SUBSCRIBE via e-mail.

*logs out*

 

 

LieSense To Write. (LTW)

I walk swiftly into the room, my feet above the ground. My other counterparts, I find there, probably waiting for me. Should I call ’em my counterparts? Yes? No? I don’t even know! But I’m quite different from them-we’re all quite different though. But I’m distinctively different-yeah,they all are too.

I can see them but they can’t see me, although, they can hear me, feel my presence and see my actions. I am invisible-unseeable,but ever present. I walk er’rywhere with you without your knowledge. I am there in your sweetest dreams and I appear in your worst nightmares. I know your thoughts ’cause I can read your mind, yes, I can see the inner you. Who am I then? I am THE GHOST. Only ‘my own’ know me.

I am 001.

And I present to you, my very own brethren->> The LieSense-to-write Team.

You wonder why the room is cold?
You wonder why they are scared?

It is because I who must not be ignored is here.
I am the could have. I am the should have. I am the i-wish -I -had-not. I am the mistake you made. I am the one that will haunt you for the rest of your life.

The devil eats my leftovers. I drink from the skulls of the spoils of dracula. I command frankenstein. Even zeus kisses my feet. Hades bow when i show.

I am good or maybe not. I point out the evil in the good. I am the bad, the Evil and the knight in shiny armour. I stain your subconscious and corrupt your innocence. I stay away from the perfect because i’m outstanding. Frankly i do not swim in the Ocean.

I am nuit. I am 009

Sitting down In The Corner Doesn’t Make Me Wizkid and my ass is already beginning to ache. Curse my strong bony figure.

Sometimes I wish I had ass, but then again, I’d be getting many advances from gay guys and girls would be tapping my ass and once I try to reciprocate *slap* “Pervert! Smh!” -____- Such a sexist society today.
So annoying.

Now everyone has started filing in and everyone has introduced myself and I can feel my knees wobble a bit cus this feels like Primary school all over again. Sigh. Here I go.

I’m The most boring person on earth. The name’s Oise. Mr Oiz. Sexual. Ode.Just Like James.

“That must be the most stupid intro ever. Nobody even smirked or smile. Looks like my blog isn’t as popular as I thought it was. Sigh I’m trying too hard. I’ll probably just try to be myself. Maybe that’ll make everyone stop staring at me like a Neanderthal. I guess its that intimidation that I’m among people way above my age. I just need to get in my zone.”
Oya chill lemme restart. Let’s be serious now.

I’m the silliest being with the sexiest imagination. Everything in my world is sexual and its the truth. Cus everything in this world IS sexual. Its just a matter of perception. Or am I the only one who has noticed that whenever I wear shoes, put socks on my feet, and plunge them into the depths of my soles, my feet have protected sex with the shoes while when I wear Toms, its raw sex 😉
“I can see them smiling now slowly. Thank You Lord for this sexy imagination 😀 Time to start telling cool stories!” So my whole life is a cool story!

I’m 006.

*bounces Into The room* Stares At The Handsome and Beautiful Faces. I Hail Thee.

I’m The Person That Held Johnatan’s Shoes Until He Became President. I Killed Umaru For His Success to Be Attained.

I am The Black Pigment On Obama, An Element Of Success. The Spirit In Lazarus That Made Jesus Weep.

I am Strong Because I Know My Weakness.
I am Handsome Because iKnow My Flaws.
I am Fearless Because I Learnt Illusion From Real.
I am Wise Because I Learn from My Mistakes.
I am A Lover Because I Felt Hate.
And I Can Laugh Because I’ve Know Sadness.

I Set Hell On Fire and I Bring Heaven Down To Earth.

I Wanted To Sell My Soul To The Devil, But He Couldn’t Afford It. So He Gave It Back. Rather The Devil Sold His Heart To Me and I Fed My Dogs With It.

I am The Heart Breaks The Ladies Feel,I Kill The Butterflies In Ur Stomach At The Beginning Of A Relationship.

I Get Whatever I Want With My Sugar coated Mouth and Words. I am Me.

I am 005.

Ko Ko Ko Ko Ko Ko..

*everybody choruses* Who Goes There.. We Can See Ur Shadow, show Ur Face Or We Strike.

Yes. I’m dupeola and I’m the definition of sarcasm.

Ghen Ghen Ghen

I’m that satirical utterance designed to give pain

My attitude depends on the knowledge of the receiver

Yes I do speak the truth and only the sarcastic would understand that

Yet I was created to taunt the human mind from birth till death.

I’m both your best friend and your worst enemy

I do not suffer from insanity…..I enjoy every bit of it

I believe that imagination is more important than knowledge

I’m that mental observer yet I think #yabaleftawaitsme

My Body Figure is Just my Number…… I am 008.

*voice from The Darkest Part Of The Room*

I have tried on several occassions to describe myself, but I never
seem to be able to do this to a satisfactory extent, so I thought, why
not just say what comes to my mind first, but I opposed that idea
because what came to my mind at first was not such a nice idea, but
that is a matter for another day *coughs*.

The name is Oluwa, Ife Oluwa, yes, and it’s not so nice to meet me,
I’m sorry about that, but it’s the truth, it’s FuckinAwesome to meet
me. Yhyh, I’m a vampire, you know all about vampires, don’t you?,
of
course, you do…GOOD, so I don’t really have much describing to
do.

The only difference between me and the others is that I do not suck
blood TO SURVIVE…cool, right?, yeah, see me after this post
*winks*.

Apart from being a vampire which is the coolest…did I just say
“coolest”, sorry, I meant “hottest” thing about me, I’m 6 feet tall,
dark and handsome, no sense of humor, I lost my sense of humor
a long
time ago, always sad, too nice, blunt, and almost crazy. So, if you
might have your interest a little bit piqued about me, you know
where
to find me *zooms off to twitter and back*

By the way, whether you believe what I Just Said Or Not, Maltina Cares. *winks at 008*

I am 003.

*Ominous theme plays and gradually builds to a crescendo as his name is announced*.

All the ladies stare mouth wide open with exclamations of “Oh’s and Ah’s” at the exquisite nature of this being.
The faces of the guys are clueless as to what could cause such reaction from the ladies, if only they knew…

I’m simply a being who is not afraid to say what’s on his mind, the ladies love me, the guys envy me. I roll with the flow, glowing everywhere I go. A hopeless romantic and perfect gentleman to the ladies, a heartless motherfucker to the guys.

Eccentricity in an ethereal way, aesthetically amazing.

The lone sound of a violinist serenades the room, the exclamations of the ladies tone down to a soulful moan like a (Pardon my French) *bitch* in heat. The masculinity of the being pervades the room casting a sullen mien over the guys…

I’m here to stay, come what may, no matter what they say, any day.

I am 007.

I am art-a detailed pencil drawing, delicately molded pottery,
A multihued painting, a carving meticulously done

I am music-a pleasant ballad, a sweet lyric
I am a song-my rhythm will move you, my words will touch you
Can you hear me?

I am poetry-my form is well organized, I am an ode to nature
I am a book- You want to write in me, but I am not empty
I am full of stories and prose and God-given knowledge
But not too easy to read

I am colour-feisty as red, warm as auburn, bright as yellow
Natural as green, cool as blue, royal as purple, pretty as pink,
Radiant as gold, valuable as silver,
Pure as white, deep as black…

I am a gem-so precious
Constant as the garnet, sincere as amethyst, courageous as the bloodstone,
Innocent as the diamond, successful and lovely as emerald, healthy as the pearl,
Content as the ruby, happy as the peridot, clear-minded as sapphire
Hopeful as the opal, dedicated as topaz and prosperous as turquoise

I am my deeds-trying to do the right things…Watch
I am my thoughts-I can get into your mind and you can get into mine

And together we’ll discover truths and understand wisdom
I am my words-Trying to say the right things,
Listen, learn, and let them speak to you…

I am 002.

An intellect that has no equal.. A vibrant mind that stands tall-high above NICCURS!!!! *pause*

A fly fellow.. Humorous *laffs like tambolo bit him*.. :$ he has records, awards, and one thing Males aren’t allowed to see -_-… *blushes*

He’s the AwesomestAwesome *giggles*.. His name is Awwwww.. *faints*
…………………………….SIREN SOUNDS…………………………….
Mia takes Yvette’s place on the podium.*

Mia: Yh.. His name is Emmanuel.. Yh that! Sexy right?! Ikr* he’s so funny!!!! When he coughs *pause* the whole room erupts in a *CHORUS LAUGH*!

And Yh… He’s a blogger.. Gonna be BadAss pretty soon.

He’s 004.. *dies*

*******************************************************************************

This Blog Is Owned By 9 Cool Writers.
@IF3OLUWA @IamToluOke @Sangjie @xxMz_Millzxx @OlajideFlirts @Hi_ItzTife @Orifunke @iLostMyHandle_ and @TheOiz.

As We Go On, we’ll Bring To You Beautiful Sequels, Sweet Poems, Nice Short Stories, Wet Sexual Posts and Funny Gists.

So As We Won’t Wanna Spam The Whole Twitter With Link Kindly SUBSCRIBE To the Blog So You’ll Get The The Post Via E-mail. Thank You, Check Back and Use The Comment List Pls.

#TeamLieSenseToWrite